In a World…where no one cares about what other people think…chaos is rampant and the human race as we know it…does not exist. The makeup, hair & fashion industries…disappear. No one says ‘please’ or ‘thank you’…and table manners are totally barbaric!
Well yeah, that’s why we do care what other people think of us. Societal order, self-motivation, and human interactions of all kinds are governed by this one idea. So why does everyone say to NOT care about what other people think? The Bosses debunk this modern approach to business, talk truth, and share their personal experiences.
Quick Concepts from Today’s Episode:
Most of us do care an awful lot about what other people think, even if we are reluctant to admit it
We set our own parameter of what we deem important
We all have an inherent need to be loved
Your mental health and happiness is directly affected by how hard you are on yourself
If we are filled with doubt – we are unhappy
Peer to peer support is important in business
Caring keeps you in check
People buy from who they know, like, and trust
Be conscious of your intentions while serving a client
Don’t conduct business when you are in a poor frame of mind
We need other people and thrive off of their approval
Your interactions with other people should be mutually beneficial
Social media fuels quick reactions that may be unwise
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy – CBT can help to identify and modify unwanted thoughts and actions
Referenced in this Episode
Direct links to things we brought up ++
We love IpDTL!
Announcer: Today’s voice over talent is more than just a pretty voice. Today’s voiceover talent has to be a boss, a VO BOSS. Set yourself up with business owner strategies and success with you host Anne Ganguzza along with some of the strongest voices in our industry. Rock your business like a boss, a VO BOSS.
Anne: Gabby, the degree you have always wanted, we’ve got it at voboss.com.
Gabby: Go to voboss.com and click on the graduate tab. This is advanced level service, advanced level attention for voice actors. It includes things like the BOSS Booster Pro, which is private learning. This is me and Anne together, combined, BOSS powers unite, to tackle your toughest business and marketing problems.
Anne: Boost your business into the stratosphere with the BOSS Booster Pro. And now, Gabby, let’s go back to the show. Welcome, everybody to the VO BOSS podcast. I’m your host, Anne Ganguzza, along with my gorgeous bestie, Gabby Nistico.
Anne: Hey, Gabby.
Gabby: Hello. So you know, we like to take inspiration for our podcast from our friends and family in voiceover, and Dianna Conley, who is your vivacious assistant —
Anne: That she is.
Gabby: — she posted something really great to Facebook the other day, and it immediately caught my eye, and I was like, “ooo, I think we need to talk about this.” So let me read this post real quick. I’m going to abridge it a little bit. She said, “why are we always told not to care what other people think about us, or not to care if other people like us? I think other people having a good opinion of me is one of the most important things in my life. I don’t change myself for others or act fake towards others or tame my exuberance. I have a strong sense of self and love myself, but you’re damn right I care what others think of me. I care that people like me. This is critical to my success as a person both professionally and personally. On a personal level in VO, I care that others can count on me making deadlines. I care if like casting directors like my auditions.” And she goes on to talk about this both professionally and personally, and I was like, what a phenomenal point.
Anne: So many wonderful things in there. Dianna, thanks for that post. What a great post. So many great things to talk about. I’m right there with her. People are always saying, “don’t worry about what others think of you.” I think that there’s levels to that. I am the biggest, like one of the biggest people pleasers I know, and I know that about myself. Right? I want everybody to like me. You know, it’s kind of been that way all my life. I have been like, “oh, you know, I want them, I want them to say good things about me.” Even like now, for all of my life — I don’t know if this is just me, but I want my parents to be proud of me. I’m like —
Anne: I’m in my 50’s now. You know what I mean? And it’s like, “I want you to be proud of me.” But there are some pros and cons to that when you, you become too hard on yourself, when you’re not pleasing everybody, and then you realize that you can’t possibly please everybody.
Gabby: I would be a massive lying sack of crap if I told you that I didn’t care what other people think of me.
Gabby: A lot of my stress in my life, and a lot of worry, and a lot of anxiety, has been induced by what other people think.
Gabby: I have specific parameters, I guess, in my life of what things I deem important and what I don’t, so that I do have a little bit of balance. There are, there’s a whole large quadrant of things that I, I don’t care. And, and you know, that’s why I tend to still be as unconventional as I am. Yeah, I don’t care what people think of my look, my hair color, my clothes, you know, physical appearance, no. I don’t, mm-mm, don’t care. Not, not really an issue. But at the same time I care what people think of my character.
Gabby: I care what people think of my motives. I care what people think about my core being, because I’d like to think that my, my heart is in the right place, and that, you know, I’m doing things from a place of good intention and love. And so if that’s misconstrued, it’s painful.
Anne: Yeah, yeah. Well, I think Gabby, it comes down to, isn’t there the inherent need that we all have or want that we all have, we just all want to be loved. Maybe it stems from that. We want people to like us. And, and sometimes I think that that is carried to an extreme where it can then start to affect your own health, your own mental health, your own happiness in terms of you’re just overly critical of yourself. And I know that I’ve, you know, I’ve gone through my life in varying phases of that, you know, trying to do things to make people like me, and then realizing maybe I don’t need to go that far umm you know to get people to like me. I think it’s just a lifelong lesson that we learn, and I think as we get older and maybe get more experienced, we start to find those, those fences um where I don’t care what others think about, let’s say, what I’m wearing or my hair color. That’s a hard one, you know, that’s a real hard one for a lot of people. I still have, I still fight it every day to look good, and if I feel like I don’t, my whole inner being can be filled with doubt and things that are not making me happy.
Gabby: I think there is a difference between caring about another person’s opinion, which can be theirs and theirs alone, versus the perception of how large groups of people see you.
Gabby: One of the greatest pieces of advice I was ever given was, “it’s none of your business what other people think of you.” At any given time or moment, you know, we can all be catty, or gossipy, or mean. But the part about character, that, that part of like perceptions, you know, “how am I viewed by society, by my peers, by my industry,” that’s, that’s pretty important to us. And I think that entrepreneurs especially get really wrapped up in that piece.
Anne: When it comes to your character and how people assess where you come from, I think that, that to me, I care about. Like I want people to be able to see that my intentions are coming from a place of love and a place of, of good and not other avenues that might be misconstrued.
Anne: I think that is important, that I’m portraying myself that way, and that every intention that I have usually is transparent and, I hope is, is good. And if it’s not, well then, you know, I guess that’s another podcast episode. [laughs] You know? I think what Dianna was saying is I do care, because it keeps her in check. I have to agree with that in terms of working professionally for someone else, of course I want to do a good job for them. I want to do good for my clients. And therefore I do care about what they think, and I want to work on maybe umm not so much the fact that it upsets me if they don’t like me, but I want to work on, on, on providing a good service, and that’s what I care about is I’m providing a good service for my clients, and that my intentions, my creative art is coming from a good place.
Gabby: Well, it goes back to something that I’ve heard you say many, many times. “People buy from those they know, like and trust.” You can’t negate that “like” part.
Gabby: I think that’s a big part of what Dianna’s saying as well. Of course we have to be concerned about that. Who wants to buy from someone they don’t like? A lot of you know this, right, I have my rock and gem and mineral hobby. This is really funny. There’s a gem show that I go to every year that has a lot of the same vendors year after year after year. And there’s this one particular gentleman who, my very first ever encounter with him, was horrible. He was just mean and icky. And it was just really, really bad experience. And so now every time we go to that show, every time we see him or we pass his booth, we go “oh, it’s the opal douche,” and we keep on going.
Gabby: Because we will never buy from the opal douche. I don’t care how amazing his stuff might be. I will never spend money with him.
Anne: [laughs] You make a good point. I think personal and professional, right, we want to deal with people that we, we know, and we like, and we trust. Now maybe Mr. Opal was —
Gabby: Opal douche, go ahead, say it.
Anne: Maybe Mr. Opal D. was having a bad day when he encountered you.
Gabby: Maybe, maybe.
Anne: And there’s where I think it’s important, right? So when you are forward facing to your clients are interacting with people in general, you should always, I think, you should always keep yourself not necessarily in check, but I think you should be conscious of your intentions, especially in terms of clients, if your, if your intention is to serve the client, and they’re not, you know, being ridiculous or, or mean, you know? That, that is an important thing to always just moving forward, being conscious of that, being conscious of how you are serving your, your client. And again maybe he was having a bad day, but look what it did. Right? He’ll never get your business.
Gabby: And one of the reasons why I’ve always said don’t pick up the phone if you’re not in the mood.