In a World…where no one cares about what other people think…chaos is rampant and the human race as we know it…does not exist. The makeup, hair & fashion industries…disappear. No one says ‘please’ or ‘thank you’…and table manners are totally barbaric!
Well yeah, that’s why we do care what other people think of us. Societal order, self-motivation, and human interactions of all kinds are governed by this one idea. So why does everyone say to NOT care about what other people think? The Bosses debunk this modern approach to business, talk truth, and share their personal experiences.
Quick Concepts from Today’s Episode:
Most of us do care an awful lot about what other people think, even if we are reluctant to admit it
We set our own parameter of what we deem important
We all have an inherent need to be loved
Your mental health and happiness is directly affected by how hard you are on yourself
If we are filled with doubt – we are unhappy
Peer to peer support is important in business
Caring keeps you in check
People buy from who they know, like, and trust
Be conscious of your intentions while serving a client
Don’t conduct business when you are in a poor frame of mind
We need other people and thrive off of their approval
Your interactions with other people should be mutually beneficial
Social media fuels quick reactions that may be unwise
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy – CBT can help to identify and modify unwanted thoughts and actions
Referenced in this Episode
Direct links to things we brought up ++
We love IpDTL!
Announcer: Today’s voice over talent is more than just a pretty voice. Today’s voiceover talent has to be a boss, a VO BOSS. Set yourself up with business owner strategies and success with you host Anne Ganguzza along with some of the strongest voices in our industry. Rock your business like a boss, a VO BOSS.
Anne: Gabby, the degree you have always wanted, we’ve got it at voboss.com.
Gabby: Go to voboss.com and click on the graduate tab. This is advanced level service, advanced level attention for voice actors. It includes things like the BOSS Booster Pro, which is private learning. This is me and Anne together, combined, BOSS powers unite, to tackle your toughest business and marketing problems.
Anne: Boost your business into the stratosphere with the BOSS Booster Pro. And now, Gabby, let’s go back to the show. Welcome, everybody to the VO BOSS podcast. I’m your host, Anne Ganguzza, along with my gorgeous bestie, Gabby Nistico.
Anne: Hey, Gabby.
Gabby: Hello. So you know, we like to take inspiration for our podcast from our friends and family in voiceover, and Dianna Conley, who is your vivacious assistant —
Anne: That she is.
Gabby: — she posted something really great to Facebook the other day, and it immediately caught my eye, and I was like, “ooo, I think we need to talk about this.” So let me read this post real quick. I’m going to abridge it a little bit. She said, “why are we always told not to care what other people think about us, or not to care if other people like us? I think other people having a good opinion of me is one of the most important things in my life. I don’t change myself for others or act fake towards others or tame my exuberance. I have a strong sense of self and love myself, but you’re damn right I care what others think of me. I care that people like me. This is critical to my success as a person both professionally and personally. On a personal level in VO, I care that others can count on me making deadlines. I care if like casting directors like my auditions.” And she goes on to talk about this both professionally and personally, and I was like, what a phenomenal point.
Anne: So many wonderful things in there. Dianna, thanks for that post. What a great post. So many great things to talk about. I’m right there with her. People are always saying, “don’t worry about what others think of you.” I think that there’s levels to that. I am the biggest, like one of the biggest people pleasers I know, and I know that about myself. Right? I want everybody to like me. You know, it’s kind of been that way all my life. I have been like, “oh, you know, I want them, I want them to say good things about me.” Even like now, for all of my life — I don’t know if this is just me, but I want my parents to be proud of me. I’m like —
Anne: I’m in my 50’s now. You know what I mean? And it’s like, “I want you to be proud of me.” But there are some pros and cons to that when you, you become too hard on yourself, when you’re not pleasing everybody, and then you realize that you can’t possibly please everybody.
Gabby: I would be a massive lying sack of crap if I told you that I didn’t care what other people think of me.
Gabby: A lot of my stress in my life, and a lot of worry, and a lot of anxiety, has been induced by what other people think.
Gabby: I have specific parameters, I guess, in my life of what things I deem important and what I don’t, so that I do have a little bit of balance. There are, there’s a whole large quadrant of things that I, I don’t care. And, and you know, that’s why I tend to still be as unconventional as I am. Yeah, I don’t care what people think of my look, my hair color, my clothes, you know, physical appearance, no. I don’t, mm-mm, don’t care. Not, not really an issue. But at the same time I care what people think of my character.
Gabby: I care what people think of my motives. I care what people think about my core being, because I’d like to think that my, my heart is in the right place, and that, you know, I’m doing things from a place of good intention and love. And so if that’s misconstrued, it’s painful.
Anne: Yeah, yeah. Well, I think Gabby, it comes down to, isn’t there the inherent need that we all have or want that we all have, we just all want to be loved. Maybe it stems from that. We want people to like us. And, and sometimes I think that that is carried to an extreme where it can then start to affect your own health, your own mental health, your own happiness in terms of you’re just overly critical of yourself. And I know that I’ve, you know, I’ve gone through my life in varying phases of that, you know, trying to do things to make people like me, and then realizing maybe I don’t need to go that far umm you know to get people to like me. I think it’s just a lifelong lesson that we learn, and I think as we get older and maybe get more experienced, we start to find those, those fences um where I don’t care what others think about, let’s say, what I’m wearing or my hair color. That’s a hard one, you know, that’s a real hard one for a lot of people. I still have, I still fight it every day to look good, and if I feel like I don’t, my whole inner being can be filled with doubt and things that are not making me happy.
Gabby: I think there is a difference between caring about another person’s opinion, which can be theirs and theirs alone, versus the perception of how large groups of people see you.
Gabby: One of the greatest pieces of advice I was ever given was, “it’s none of your business what other people think of you.” At any given time or moment, you know, we can all be catty, or gossipy, or mean. But the part about character, that, that part of like perceptions, you know, “how am I viewed by society, by my peers, by my industry,” that’s, that’s pretty important to us. And I think that entrepreneurs especially get really wrapped up in that piece.
Anne: When it comes to your character and how people assess where you come from, I think that, that to me, I care about. Like I want people to be able to see that my intentions are coming from a place of love and a place of, of good and not other avenues that might be misconstrued.
Anne: I think that is important, that I’m portraying myself that way, and that every intention that I have usually is transparent and, I hope is, is good. And if it’s not, well then, you know, I guess that’s another podcast episode. [laughs] You know? I think what Dianna was saying is I do care, because it keeps her in check. I have to agree with that in terms of working professionally for someone else, of course I want to do a good job for them. I want to do good for my clients. And therefore I do care about what they think, and I want to work on maybe umm not so much the fact that it upsets me if they don’t like me, but I want to work on, on, on providing a good service, and that’s what I care about is I’m providing a good service for my clients, and that my intentions, my creative art is coming from a good place.
Gabby: Well, it goes back to something that I’ve heard you say many, many times. “People buy from those they know, like and trust.” You can’t negate that “like” part.
Gabby: I think that’s a big part of what Dianna’s saying as well. Of course we have to be concerned about that. Who wants to buy from someone they don’t like? A lot of you know this, right, I have my rock and gem and mineral hobby. This is really funny. There’s a gem show that I go to every year that has a lot of the same vendors year after year after year. And there’s this one particular gentleman who, my very first ever encounter with him, was horrible. He was just mean and icky. And it was just really, really bad experience. And so now every time we go to that show, every time we see him or we pass his booth, we go “oh, it’s the opal douche,” and we keep on going.
Gabby: Because we will never buy from the opal douche. I don’t care how amazing his stuff might be. I will never spend money with him.
Anne: [laughs] You make a good point. I think personal and professional, right, we want to deal with people that we, we know, and we like, and we trust. Now maybe Mr. Opal was —
Gabby: Opal douche, go ahead, say it.
Anne: Maybe Mr. Opal D. was having a bad day when he encountered you.
Gabby: Maybe, maybe.
Anne: And there’s where I think it’s important, right? So when you are forward facing to your clients are interacting with people in general, you should always, I think, you should always keep yourself not necessarily in check, but I think you should be conscious of your intentions, especially in terms of clients, if your, if your intention is to serve the client, and they’re not, you know, being ridiculous or, or mean, you know? That, that is an important thing to always just moving forward, being conscious of that, being conscious of how you are serving your, your client. And again maybe he was having a bad day, but look what it did. Right? He’ll never get your business.
Gabby: And one of the reasons why I’ve always said don’t pick up the phone if you’re not in the mood.
Gabby: Like we do that a lot. I, I will sometimes let a call go to voicemail just because I know like whatever, whatever’s up with me, I’m just, I’m not in a good headspace —
Anne: Oh, I get that.
Gabby: — to make a good first impression.
Anne: I get that. I’m going to go one step further and say, if you can do it, try not to step in the booth when you’re not in the frame of mind.
Anne: You know what I mean? I know that I have gotten in the booth, and for me, I do a lot — as we know, I do a ton of narration. It does affect me. That [laughs] you know, that inner core, that being, if I’m agitated or annoyed, it can definitely, absolutely affect my performance. So I always try to go into my zen mode as I enter into the booth to perform and to, you know, do my stuff.
Gabby: I think at the end of the day, what it comes down to, guys, is of course we care what other people think. We all care what other people think. To try for even a second to convince ourselves that we don’t is kind of pointless.
Gabby: We, we need other people for, for so many different reasons in our lives and in our business that, yes, we are always going to have some concern, some thought about how people see us and view us, and that plays a role in every business owner’s day. So you’re not alone. Now, should it be monopolizing huge chunks of your life?
Anne: Exactly. I always say try to go — like, how is it making you feel? Right? If you’re fighting, if you’re fighting every day — it’s kind of like, Gabby, when I did the tail end of my last job, and it was like when you go into work every day, do you have that knot in your stomach or do you [laughs]
Gabby: Oh my God, I’m going to sit in the car for 30 more seconds. I just don’t want to go in. Oh God.
Anne: When that happens, when dealing with people or clients, I think it behooves you to, to step back and assess if that relationship is indeed serving you in a positive manner.
Gabby: Why am I doing this?
Anne: Yeah. So maybe Mr. Opal, right, was not in a good frame of mind that day for dealing with people. And, and again, if you can, if you can avoid putting that out there, I think, whether you’re in the booth, whether you’re dealing with somebody on the phone, whether you’re dealing with a client, sometimes you can’t help it. And so there, there, therein lies the challenge. Sometimes you do have to deal with people. You have to deal with clients.
Gabby: And sometimes you can help it, and you just can’t help yourself, right?
Anne: That’s true.
Gabby: That’s the social media piece.
Anne: That’s true.
Gabby: Just stop. Just bleehhh, just shut up.
Anne: Walk away.
Anne: Walk away.
Anne: I think sometimes it’s harder to walk away. Gabby, there are sometimes I will see, I will see conversations happening… mmmmm… biting my lip or, you know — anybody that’s worked with me knows that I can’t type anyways. Thankfully that comes into — think that actually helps me because I’m not as fast of a typer as I want to be, and that’s kind of a good thing. Because sometimes I will want to type a response, then “nope, Anne, got to get up and walk away.” Again —
Gabby: I go play with rocks.
Anne: [laughs] Play with rocks.
Gabby: I go play with a rock. I just need a minute.
Anne: Kitties, play with the kitties, and so yeah. Dianna, wow, just the plethora of wisdom in that post. Just at times be careful of caring too much, and when it gets to that point, where you care too much about what a particular person or client thinks, then maybe I think it’s time to step back and reassess whether that relationship is, is worth it for you.
Gabby: Yes. Then you can start an exploration into a lovely thing called cognitive behavioral therapy.
Anne: Ahh there you go.
Gabby: CBT is the key. CBT really is the key to understanding that pattern in your life and how do I break out of it very effectively. Thanks, Dianna.
Anne: So guys, yeah. Go forth with good intentions, and —
Gabby: Care what others think.
Gabby: Just not too much.
Anne: There you go.
Anne: Big shout-out to people I do care about, those people at ipDTL, for an amazing connection. You too can find out more at ipDTL.com.
Gabby: For all things BOSS in your life, you have all the social media platforms, but our epic website awaits you at voboss.com. And there you can find so, so many cool ways to engage with the BOSSes, and if you haven’t done it yet, go to our shop tab and check out some of our merchandise. The T-shirts, the underwear —
Anne: The underwear.
Gabby: We have some fantastic stuff.
Anne: [laughs] Gabby, we have underwear.
Gabby: I love — I know. I love them. I have them on right now.
Anne: [laughs] Bye, guys. Have a great week. See you next week.
Announcer: Join us next week for another edition of VO BOSS with your hosts Anne Ganguzza and Gabby Nistico. All rights reserved, Anne Ganguzza Voice Talent in association with Three Moon Media. Redistribution with permission. Coast-to-coast connectivity via ipDTL.
Anne: My tongue is wearing a fur coat.
Anne: Do you ever get that?
Gabby: Have you been eating sugary things?
Anne: No, it’s just really dry in my house. The fur coat is not from sugar. The fur coat on your teeth is from sugar, but the fur coat on your tongue —
Gabby: Mine’s from coffee.
Anne: Well, yeah, OK, I’m thinking coffee too so — anyway, I slept really well, and I’m sure I had my mouth open, so all of that in combination with the coffee, and being first thing in the morning, is making my tongue have a fur coat. Such a visual, isn’t it?
Gabby: Mm-hmm. Sexy.
Anne: Welcome, everybody, to the VO BOSS podcast. Hehhh I didn’t like that. [sighs]
Gabby: So many people who come to you and want to do a corporate narration demo —
Gabby: — want — hold on.
Gabby: Shut up, it’s just Shelley. Shut the [bleep] up. Just shut up. Control yourself. Get your [bleep] together, dog. Just shut it.
Anne: [in Spanish accent] Hit the record button.
Gabby: I’m rolling. I’m rolling.
Anne: [in Spanish accent] Rolling. We are rolling. [normal] Oh, I almost rolled my R. I can’t roll my R’s.
Gabby: [rolls tongue]
Anne: Roll. I can only, like I can honker. Like —
Gabby: [rolls tongue]
Anne: I can’t. [tries tongue roll]
Anne: [sensuously] Welcome, everybody, to the VO BOSS podcast. [laughs]
Gabby: The hell just happened to you?
Anne: [laughs] I just like got weird.
Gabby: Oh boy!
Anne: I don’t care what I look like, or I don’t care what not — I do care what I look like. Wait, let me back up. You’re going to edit that out.
Anne: I am probably 10 fingers away.
Gabby: You want to get closer if you can. Like — yeah.
Anne: How close do you want me to get? This close?
Anne: OK. That’s uncomfortable.
Anne: I could use an outtake. I could [laughs]
Gabby: “I could use an outtake.”
Anne: Sorry. I could use an outtake after my last couple of days. Holy crap.
Gabby: Oh my God.
Kelly: I was just up in the Carolinas, just a couple weeks ago, was at Myrtle Beach for the first time ever.
Gabby: Oh, yeah, how’d that go?
Anne: Lots of fun stuff.
Kelly: I’ve never been to a place that has so many pancake houses in my entire life. Every other restaurant was a pancake house.
Gabby: A pancake house or a uh buffet of some sort.
Kelly: An all-you-can-eat seafood buffet.
Kelly: Oh, and um that brief time I was a wandering transvestite.
Anne: Yes, you can talk about that as well and how that affected your VO career.
Kelly: Yeah, that, you know, if you work that in.
Gabby: Those auditions had to be a —
Gabby: So tell me about your time as Frankfurter? I’m, I —
Kelly: I was young, and I needed the money.
Anne: You were paying your way for voiceover coaching lessons.
Kelly: That’s right.
Anne: That’s it.
Anne: So, I may screw up, but you know —
Gabby: We love you anyway.
Kelly: You’re blonde. We expect it.
Anne: Good. Gabby, I hope you are recording because we’re getting all sorts of wonderful outtakes.
Gabby: I am.
Kelly: Hi, Gabby.
Kelly: So tell me about yourself.
Gabby: Umm, well, I like long walks on the beach and poking dead things with sticks.
Kelly: Well, and who doesn’t, really?
Anne: We are boos — wait. We are BOSS Blasting it, skyrocketing — wait, no. We are BOSS Boosting this right outside of this… universe. Dammit. We are BOSS — [laughs] We — [laughs]
Gabby: You have no idea what the [bleep] we’re saying.
Anne: We’re blasting [laughs] We’re blasting this booster [laughs] We’re — we — [laughs] We are blasting outside of this universe. BOSS Booster, projectile your [laughs] Projectile your business —
Gabby: Up, up, and away.
Anne: Projectile… vomit your business.
Anne: Out into the — yes, no. Two BOSS brains are better than one.
Gabby: They’re [bleep] fried, so we sound like idiots.
Anne: And now, Gabby, let’s blast off into the show. No. [laughs]
Gabby: That’s adorable.
Anne: And now, Gabby, let’s blast off into our show. No, that doesn’t make sense. Blast off into? Wouldn’t it be blast off to the show?
Anne: Oh yeah. OK, Gabby, so let’s blast off to the show now.