You know what Bosses? 2020 can s*#k it! We’re going through a tough time, but pain and vulnerability can lead to joy and happiness. This week, Anne and Pam discuss the Law of Polarity which states everything has a polar opposite. Listen for tips on coming out on the other side with a renewed sense of purpose and ready to move your business forward. Let go of the past and tap into your potential for success. Thrive like a #VOBOSS!
Quick Concepts from Today’s Episode:
When there is no clear end to a situation, and we can’t control it, it can cause a lot of anxiety
The Law of Polarity states that everything has a polar opposite. Pain and vulnerability have the ability to bring joy and happiness into your life
If you’ve felt darkness and true pain – then you know the opposite is true joy
You have to remember that if this is pain, it’s going to get better
When you’re feeling extreme pain, you can say “I cannot wait until I experience the polar opposite of this.”
Release that which isn’t serving you
Release that which you can’t control
To release the pain, you have to expand on it, be it talking or journaling. It’s a therapeutic process
It’s ok to not be ok, that’s part of the journey. There will be joy on the other side
The attitude you take when you confront what is not serving you, or what you can’t control, can truly change your life
Focus on what you can control, and release what you can’t, and you will truly find positive forward momentum
Reach out to other people, be it friends, coworkers, or a doctor. They will help get you through
Referenced in this Episode
Direct links to things we brought up ++
Visit Pamela’s Website
Learn more about the Law of Polarity
Recorded on ipDTL.com
Badass editing by Noah at Carl Bahner Audio
>> It’s time to take your business to the next level, the BOSS level! These are the premiere Business Owner Strategies and Successes being utilized by the industry’s top talent today. Rock your business like a boss, a VO BOSS! Now let’s welcome your host, Anne Ganguzza.
Anne: Hey everyone, welcome to the VO BOSS podcast. I’m your host, Anne Ganguzza, and I’m here with my amazing, special guest co-host of the universal laws that we’ve been talking about —
Pamela: The Universal Law of Co-Hosting, she never goes away. [laughs]
Anne: There you go — no, I like the Universal Law of Co-Hosting is that it brings you these gifts that are amazing and unexpected and wonderful to help grow you personal growth as well as your business growth. That would be Pamela Muldoon.
Pamela: Aww, that’s nice. Oh my goodness, Anne!
Anne: It’s true!
Anne: It’s true.
Pamela: I’m gonna — I think that’s a little tear you guys are hearing roll down my cheek.
Anne: But no, seriously, it’s true. I’ve really enjoyed our discussions on the universal laws, and there’s another one that, after going through kind of a tumultuous time —
Pamela: Yes. Like, what did we say, 2020 can suck it? [laughs]
Anne: Yeah, 2020… I think, and I’m gonna come right straight forward and just say my husband has recovered from Covid, and that was a very dark time for me. And I have a few instances in my personal life that have been dark times for me, where you’re at a point where you just, you know, what do you do? And I know people feel like, with this pandemic, like how are we gonna get out of it? I know there’s lots of helplessness, fear, panic, and I’d like to try to bring to the forefront what I learned from going through, you know, my husband. I didn’t know. I mean it’s one of those things when you watch somebody you love be very sick, and you just don’t know what’s gonna happen, how is it gonna turn? And I think that for your own sanity, otherwise —
Anne: Otherwise you’re not a help to the situation. I think there’s a law. I think there’s a law about this —
Pamela: There is.
Anne: — a universal law.
Pamela: [laughs] Yeah, the law of polarity. It’s one, you know, I think what you’re sharing — you know, we’re going to talk specifically about Jerry, who thank goodness is doing much better, right?
Anne: Yes. By the way, I want everybody to know that thankfully he recovered. Yes.
Pamela: I think a challenge we have with all of this in terms of Covid and a lot of different kind of ramifications of that, is there’s no bookend, right? There’s no clear end, and so there’s a lot of things we can’t control, which also brings anxiety to the table, right? It’s just this idea of we can’t control certain things. But law of polarity is one that I really embrace myself as well. It’s probably 10, 12 years ago, and it’s this idea that everything has a polar opposite, right? So this anxiety, this pain, this darkness that you’re feeling has the ability to bring the opposite into your life, which is amazing light, amazing happiness, right, that you can’t have one —
Anne: And joy.
Pamela: — without the other, absolutely. So I think it’s a really interesting law to talk about, because my guess is you’re not alone, right? We’ve all — I think anyone, if you’re listening, you’ve been through some stuff, right? We’ve all experienced something that really was challenging. It could be a financial challenge, it could be an emotional challenge, it could be a combination of those things.
Anne: A business challenge.
Pamela: A business challenge. Health challenge, like you’re talking about here with Jerry —
Pamela: And I know you’ve experienced your own health challenges, right, Anne, as well?
Anne: I, you know, I just want to interject, and I don’t want this to be all about health —
Anne: But this is, this actually, it parallels many other, any other thing that you can compare it too, like you said, business, personal. When I was diagnosed, I remember in the middle of my diagnosis for cancer, I remember very clearly, right, being at that kind of crazy time where I was terrified, terrified I had just gotten the diagnosis. I was waiting to hear from my doctor on a biopsy. And basically if this biopsy was cancerous, then I was going to have one decision, and if it wasn’t, there was going to be a different decision. And I remember very, very clearly my doctor saying to me on the phone — he had to tell me over the phone — that it was the one decision; it was cancerous. And he said, “look, I just want you to know, right now, you’re at ground zero. And a couple of years from now, when you’re on the other side of it” — right there was the projection of “when you’re on the other side of it” — “you’re going to be okay, and you’re going to be better for this, and you’ll be healthy for this.” And he said, “but right now, at ground zero, I have to do what is best for you and give you this diagnosis as well as what I recommend for your course of treatment.” And I’ll never forget, like I was like, literally on the phone in tears while he was saying “you’re at ground zero, and when you come out of this a couple years from now, you’re going to be okay. You’re going to be better than okay.”
Anne: And that really, really stuck with me. And then that I believe is the law of polarity. And I will tell you honestly on the other side of it, when I talk to people about it, I have actually seen so many good things since I’ve gone through it.
Anne: And it’s amazing. It’s really an amazing story that I have the experiences to draw from, and now I have the extreme polar opposite of how I was feeling that day in terms of how I live my life now. Because I live my life [laughs] right? And not anything but. [laughs]
Pamela: There’s something in that, right? Like there’s a couple of things that, as you share in your experience that I just want the audience to kind of really, really tune in on: that these opportunities — and I do consider them opportunities — they suck sometimes. It’s just, if you’ve felt that kind of darkness or unfortunate stuff, you know it’s pain. It’s true pain. But if the polar opposite is joy, or positive reaction versus negative reaction, right, up/down, you know, whatever that opposite is, when you get there, when you embrace that this is low, but it’s gonna be better —
Anne: And you have to. Yup.
Pamela: You have to. You have to, and that’s probably the harder part, right? I mean, we’re not saying this is something, boom, you blink your eyes like Bewitched and — yes, I dated myself. [laughs] — and all of a sudden things are better. But I will tell you, when you do know this law, or you know that it exists, the opportunity — oh, I’m getting those goosebumps again, Anne — the opportunity is that when you’re feeling that much pain is to say “I cannot wait until I experience my polar opposite, because it’s gonna be so amazing.”
Anne: Well, exactly.
Pamela: And it helps you release that which isn’t serving you, which we’ve also talked about. Like you said, now you’re a healthier person, but you also see through a different lens. You create the work with your clients through that lens. The gifts that come from that, right?
Anne: Yes, it’s affected every aspect of my life, not just my health, but my personal, you know, the way I look at my life, the way I live my life with just joy. It made my decision. I always wanted to be joyful, but it really cemented my decision to always maneuver my personal and business life to a place of whatever it is that brings me joy. And if it doesn’t, then I release it. And that is even more so now in my business and in my voiceover business, which I love because I now trust my instincts for that, because —
Anne: — it has served me so well. I mean, we’re talking, it was probably with my husband and with myself, with the health issues was the most dark time of my life. And so if I could come through that and experience the polar opposite as I move forward, I have that trust in embracing it and then putting my sights into moving it forward.
Pamela: Yeah. And I think that word trust is an interesting word, right? Because most of us tend to want to control our experiences. [laughs] And this is something that was totally beyond your control. I know the 2008 recession was one for my family, for my husband and I. [laughs] I had been laid off in 2006. He was laid off in 2007. We lost the house, you know [laughs] just check the boxes, people. It was all there, right? And man, [laughs] at some point, and this was our situation, or at least me personally — I can make my little checklist of all the things that were just not great. And I realized I only had one choice. I had to let go. Yeah.
Anne: Well, that’s true. That’s very true. You don’t have a choice but to let go. Otherwise you — I cannot be in a state of, I just can’t. I mean, and thankfully I have people in my life that were able to help me out of that as well. And that is something I want to make sure that all of us, what we’re talking about — this is a really interesting episode because we’re talking about things that are pretty dark.
Pamela: Yeah. [laughs]
Anne: And just to let you guys know that, if there’s anything we can do as BOSSes to help if you’re in a dark place, please let us know. There are also some great resources which we’re going to post on the show notes page that we’ll put out there for anybody that needs help going through this dark time. But I’m hoping that this is going to inspire people to try to just embrace, and to keep the lines of communication open. Because had I not been able to go through, embrace, talk to people, tell people about my fears and my dark places, I certainly would not have been able to get out as I did.
Pamela: I think it’s part of the process to release it, right? To release it, you’ve got to expand on it a little bit, whether it’s talking to somebody, writing, journaling, creatives. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that some of the best work that comes out of authors, and comedians, and musicians, and movies, you know, screenwriters and things like that, usually come from a place of darkness, but it’s a therapeutic process to release it, and put it out somehow, whatever that means to you. And this word of trust too, I just want to, you know, when I say “let go,” I don’t mean you let go and you just let life happen to you. Right? We’ve talked about some of the other laws, right, getting more clear on what you want and putting action toward, you know that inspired action that we talked about in the past. But there is something about releasing that which you can’t control. You could not control the diagnosis, right? It was already there.
Anne: Right, absolutely.
Pamela: But you could control how you were going to react to it, and the inspired actions you were going to take moving forward so that from this darkness, you could move to the light, which was a polar opposite. And if it felt really dark, just imagine how amazing the other side would feel. And I think that’s a really important lesson. It might take a little while to get there. It’s not easy. [laughs] If it was easy, we wouldn’t be having this conversation, Anne, right? [laughs] But I think it’s a powerful experience to have and think through. Challenges will always be there. Financial challenges, business challenges, family challenges, whatever, health challenges, they’re always going to be there. So one, how am I going to react to it, and then what am I going to do to embrace and trust so I can move to this opposite side faster and with more clarity and perhaps learning “oh my gosh, look at all this stuff that I have now that I never would have had if I hadn’t gone through this.” It can really be amazing. [laughs]
Anne: Absolutely. And it’s just, there’s so many stories.
Pamela: I know!
Anne: You know, that I’ve heard during this pandemic. I choose to look at those inspiring stories when I’m feeling — and I know we’re all frustrated. And we’ve done episodes where it’s okay to not be okay, because I feel like that’s part of the journey as you are, you know, going from that polarity of working through it, and at least putting it out there that there will be the polar opposite, right, the joy on the other side of it, and I think that that really is something that can help in so many ways. I know that going through what I have in my life, and I’m not alone — everybody has a thing that happens to them. As you mentioned, how you choose to respond to it I think really plays an important role as to how you’re going to get to the other side. And I think the positive thinking, I know there are like so many studies like healthwise, if you think positive, if you’ve been given a diagnosis, you can add years to your life. You know, it’s just our brains are so amazing, really.
Pamela: They really are. I mean, it’s the attitude you take when you confront whenever is not serving you or what you can’t control. You know, this pandemic, we can’t control this. Week in and week out, it feels like the never-ending virus. Man, I think we all in our own way have to ask ourselves, okay, what is it I can control? I can control how I react to this, and I can control the inspired actions I need to take to continue to move forward. It doesn’t mean I put my head in the sand. It doesn’t mean I’m not paying attention. But focus on that which you can control, and release that which you just can’t, and you will still find a forward momentum and a positive experience, I believe, by doing that.
Anne: And I think for those people that are just getting into the industry, what do we read about all the time, right, in the groups and the forums about, you know, it’s difficult to make a living doing what we do. And I think how do we move our businesses forward? It’s obviously a pretty singular thing that we talk about during this podcast quite a bit, how do we move forward? And I think that if you’re in that space right now with your business — “how do I move forward? I’m not getting any gigs. This pandemic has really brought me down,” or “I’ve lost business because of it” — I think there’s a lot of ways that you can, I’m just gonna say, put your head down and focus and try to work through it. And I know there’s a lot of people that I’ve been working with recently that have decided to work on their performance, so as a coach, I’m working with them on performance. Or Pam, I think you’re helping people with their businesses, right?
Anne: That is the active steps that you can take to really start to realize a polar opposite —
Anne: — on the end of this. I think that there’s always hope, because if I didn’t think there was hope, then that, that would be a different episode.
Anne: Yeah, right?
Pamela: We could probably do an entire episode on the importance of having hope. And hope does not mean you’re kind of, you know, pie in the sky dreaming. I think hope is one of the most important emotions that we have as humans, right? It’s this idea that there’s something there to still have, and look forward to, and be apart of. It’s a tough thing to explain, but when we feel a strong sense of hope, it is forward, it is forward momentum. It really is. I agree with you.
Anne: Yeah, and I think this pandemic, it’s always, “so, when we can get together again, this is what I’m going to do,” right? “When we can” — I know my husband and I were talking about, “okay, so when we can have guests at the house again,” or “when we can go out.” And Pam, concerts, when will that happen? I know we’re thinking, when will that happen again? Because I know you and I enjoy our concerts.
Pamela: Yes, I’m telling you, and I had actually — this was work I had done with a previous business coach, because I had come out of — and here’s what’s funny. My need to go to concerts at least once every 30 days came from a coaching that I had after this 2008 recession. I hit that low.
Anne: Oh really?
Pamela: And so I reached out — yeah. Basically it was questions, what have you, what have you done for yourself and do you and your husband — we were centered around our kids and other stuff, and we’re very — I think that’s partly a mom thing. But that was — I was not thinking, and this comes from a living belief that I don’t deserve, right? So I didn’t feel like I deserved, if times were hard, to spend money on things that were “frivolous,” and I do that in quotation marks. Right? Like, I can’t go to a concert. That’s just, oh my God, I can’t spend that money when I don’t have the money, that whole thing. And my coach at the time really worked with me to just set something in motion every 30 days that would make me feel joy, and it didn’t have to be a big thing, but it had to be something —
Anne: Oo I like that.
Pamela: — that I put on the calendar, and I’m telling you, it changed my viewpoint 100%, because it gave me something to look forward to. There’s the power of that, right, knowing that there’s, and what you’re saying here, Anne, right, like this idea of “when we get to have people over for dinner again,” or “when we get to do this,” those things are still important because that is what the, you know, where hope is aligned with that, right? Hope is a forward emotion, and so we started that process, and that was probably 2008, 2009, 2010, right in there, where I started. I wasn’t perfect with it, but here we are in 2020. If it wasn’t for this darn pandemic. [laughs] I had been going to a concert, or an event, or something that brought me joy every 30 days since then as much as I could. It wasn’t perfect, but yeah.
Anne: I love that. Do something every 30 — I’m going to try to say, maybe try to do something once a day [laughs] that brings you joy, right? Maybe it doesn’t have to cost you money —
Pamela: [laughs] It doesn’t have to cost you money. ‘Cause then that opened the floodgates, right, and it was a big push to “where do I want to live?” I want to live where I know I can attend concerts, where I can see — you know, we talked about law of attraction in a previous episode, and all of that kind of fell into place. And of course I landed in the heart of entertainment here of Las Vegas, Henderson; Nevada. And I had it all at my fingertips. And so to your point, it’s not there right now because of the pandemic, but I have to find another way to — and I think in a way, recording these episodes has been apart of that, to be perfectly honest, because we — people may not realize this, but we do this on the weekends. [laughs]
Anne: Yeah. [laughs]
Pamela: She’s my weekend date every so often. [laughs]
Anne: The weekend date with Pamela. And I’m gonna say, I think what’s really cool is that, this hope where we say, okay, when we can get together again, we’re actually putting that out into the universe, “when we can do this again.” Like that is the hope that is setting an intention —
Anne: — that is creating a polar opposite of what is maybe, you know, happening in our lives now, and I think that that’s important that collectively, we do this. And how fortunate, Pam, are we, I think all of us as BOSSes, right? First of all, we are fortunate that we get to work from home. And now there’s a lot more people that are fortunate because they can work from home, and I truly believe that it’s going to change the way we work from now on, not just in voiceover but in many other industries. What is the polar opposite of us all running to work every day? Now maybe we have some other things that we can look forward to that bring us joy, like more family time or more positive effects on the environment, because we’re not out, you know, driving around. And so there really are those polar opposite things that are happening during this, and I think we need to acknowledge them —
Anne: — and keep them in our pockets so that we have that hope moving forward, and we can collectively, as a society, move forward past this, because we will get past this. I just simply can’t think of anything other than that, and I think no matter what you’re going through in your lives right now, in your personal lives, in your health, with your business, try to think of what that polar opposite is going to be, and try to move toward that and to help get you through this time. And of course there are many, many resources out there. Reach out to a friend, reach out to us; whatever we can do. You know, reach out to a doctor, reach out to people.
Anne: Reach out to other people, because I think when it comes right down to it, people are important. We are important.
Pamela: We still need that human interaction. We do. [laughs]
Anne: We do, we absolutely do, even though we’re isolated. But how fortunate that we’ve already been accustomed to that.
Pamela: For sure.
Anne: Our adjustment during this pandemic, at least for me, wasn’t as bad I think as maybe somebody who wasn’t used to working from home. We’ve been working from home for years.
Pamela: Yeah, that part was fine. My challenge of course is I’m a high extrovert. So my concerts, my going out to do things with a lot of people, I miss playing poker. [laughs] I’ve had to really adjust.
Anne: Now we know the real reason you moved to Vegas.
Pamela: It was on the list. I will admit it. [laughs]
Anne: It was on the list, there you go. Wow, good episode, Pam.
Pamela: Very much so. Yeah.
Anne: So guys, BOSSes, just know that, you know, we love you out there, and if you’re going through this dark time, we all do, reach out. We’re here. Reach out to anybody to help you through it. There is a polar opposite out there that will bring you joy.
Anne: I fully, fully believe in that. And I want to see all of our BOSSes out there experiencing joy in their personal, in their health, and in their business, and all that good stuff. Big shout-out to someone else who brings me a lot of joy, and that is Kevin Leach and ipDTL out there. We love our ipDTL. Thanks so much for allowing us to connect like BOSSes together. You can find out more at ipdtl.com. You guys have a great week —
Pamela: Have a great week!
Anne: — and we’ll see you next week.
Pamela: Bye now.
Anne: Bye! Yay!
>> Join us next week for another edition of VO BOSS with your host Anne Ganguzza. And take your business to the next level. Sign up for our mailing list at voboss.com and receive exclusive content, industry revolutionizing tips and strategies, and new ways to rock your business like a BOSS. Redistribution with permission. Coast to Coast connectivity via ipDTL.